Getting Any? (1994) [Film Review]

Getting Any?; or, How to Make It Big and Alienate People

     I need a car. To get laid, I need a car. That's it! I'm going to buy a car!
If you are an avid fan of Takeshi Kitano and his movies, then you probably know that he was not always an auteur filmmaker. In fact, “Beat” Takeshi started his career as a comedian, primarily doing gigs at variety shows. In the 1980s came the popular game show called “Takeshi’s Castle” in which he could also show off his off-the-wall humour. When Kitano transitioned to cinema, he began making serious dramas with a touch of his unique style, but there were a few exceptions, including Getting Any?, a 1994 comedy in which Kitano goes back to his comic roots.

Release Info

Directed by: Takeshi Kitano Starring: Dankan, Ren Osugi, Takeshi Kitano

Language: Japanese Original Title: みんな～やってるか！Runtime: 109 min

Synopsis
Asao (Dankan) is a guy who is obsessed with the idea of getting laid. In order to achieve his goal, he comes up with possible scenarios in which a woman might be willing to spend some pleasure with him. However, there’s a problem. All of these scenarios require money and specific objects/conditions to work. As a result, Asao takes up a variety of jobs and ends up entangled in many crazy situations. Will he be able to stay alive and “get any” at the same time?

Going Broke
I was aware of Getting Any? for a few good years, but I was unable to check out the film because it was a sort of rarity in Kitano's filmography. That is until the Blu-ray edition was released recently. I could not help myself and grabbed the HD copy of a film that is not frequently discussed among Kitano enthusiasts.

Well, similarly to Takeshis (2005) and Glory to the Filmmaker! (2007), Getting Any? shows in what kind of mindset Kitano operates. He prefers that mixture of old Monty Python/Pierre Richard comedies, but also likes to go one step beyond. As a result the film feels like a composition of comic strips taken straight from a magazine for teenagers. For instance, Asao tries to buy a car, Asao tries to rob a bank, Asao tries to become an actor, Asao tries to act like a hitman. Needless to say, all these situations end disastrously for the main protagonist.

Due to the episodic nature of the film, some sequences work really well, but many do not. I particularly liked Asao’s ordeal to steal some cash and his shenanigans on the set of a Zatoichi movie (Little did Kitano realise that he’ll be remaking Zatoichi for real a few years later). However, the whole sequence devoted to yakuza is just too long and too bizarre. It did not make me laugh at all. The final act, on the other hand, is a parody of Ultraman, Ghostbusters, and The Fly, with Kitano stepping in as a mad scientist trying to make invisibility possible. This part of the film (and especially the last scene) were even weirder.

To be honest, the further the movie goes, the more watered down the humour gets. I guess Kitano wanted to vent off his irritation with film critics while making this movie, yet Getting Any? is definitely not for everybody.

Recommendations
If you want to see a film about a quirky individual who goes to extremes to fulfil a dream, then I recommend Shinobu Yaguchi’s My Secret Cache (1997) instead. Getting Any? is only a passing trivia from the hallmarks of Takeshi Kitano. The only thing that keeps the film from falling apart entirely is the performance of the main lead, Dankan.Overall score: 5/10

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