Getting Any? (1994) [Film Review]

Getting Any?; or, How to Make It Big and Alienate People

     I need a car. To get laid, I need a car. That's it! I'm going to buy a car!
If you are an avid fan of Takeshi Kitano and his movies, then you probably know that he was not always an auteur filmmaker. In fact, “Beat” Takeshi started his career as a comedian, primarily doing gigs at variety shows. In the 1980s came the popular game show called “Takeshi’s Castle” in which he could also show off his off-the-wall humour. When Kitano transitioned to cinema, he began making serious dramas with a touch of his unique style, but there were a few exceptions, including Getting Any?, a 1994 comedy in which Kitano goes back to his comic roots.

Release Info

Directed by: Takeshi Kitano Starring: Dankan, Ren Osugi, Takeshi Kitano

Language: Japanese Original Title: みんな～やってるか！Runtime: 109 min

Synopsis
Asao (Dankan) is a guy who is obsessed with the idea of getting laid. In order to achieve his goal, he comes up with possible scenarios in which a woman might be willing to spend some pleasure with him. However, there’s a problem. All of these scenarios require money and specific objects/conditions to work. As a result, Asao takes up a variety of jobs and ends up entangled in many crazy situations. Will he be able to stay alive and “get any” at the same time?

Going Broke
I was aware of Getting Any? for a few good years, but I was unable to check out the film because it was a sort of rarity in Kitano's filmography. That is until the Blu-ray edition was released recently. I could not help myself and grabbed the HD copy of a film that is not frequently discussed among Kitano enthusiasts.

Well, similarly to Takeshis (2005) and Glory to the Filmmaker! (2007), Getting Any? shows in what kind of mindset Kitano operates. He prefers that mixture of old Monty Python/Pierre Richard comedies, but also likes to go one step beyond. As a result the film feels like a composition of comic strips taken straight from a magazine for teenagers. For instance, Asao tries to buy a car, Asao tries to rob a bank, Asao tries to become an actor, Asao tries to act like a hitman. Needless to say, all these situations end disastrously for the main protagonist.

Due to the episodic nature of the film, some sequences work really well, but many do not. I particularly liked Asao’s ordeal to steal some cash and his shenanigans on the set of a Zatoichi movie (Little did Kitano realise that he’ll be remaking Zatoichi for real a few years later). However, the whole sequence devoted to yakuza is just too long and too bizarre. It did not make me laugh at all. The final act, on the other hand, is a parody of Ultraman, Ghostbusters, and The Fly, with Kitano stepping in as a mad scientist trying to make invisibility possible. This part of the film (and especially the last scene) were even weirder.

To be honest, the further the movie goes, the more watered down the humour gets. I guess Kitano wanted to vent off his irritation with film critics while making this movie, yet Getting Any? is definitely not for everybody.

Recommendations
If you want to see a film about a quirky individual who goes to extremes to fulfil a dream, then I recommend Shinobu Yaguchi’s My Secret Cache (1997) instead. Getting Any? is only a passing trivia from the hallmarks of Takeshi Kitano. The only thing that keeps the film from falling apart entirely is the performance of the main lead, Dankan.Overall score: 5/10

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“But the Emperor is on high, riding the dragon now”: Remembering The Last Emperor (1987) [Editorial]

Independently financed and directed by Bernardo Bertolucci in 1987, The Last Emperor holds the title of the first Western production shot on location in the Forbidden City in Beijing. Needless to say, it also won Academy Awards in 9(!) categories. Interestingly, this historical epic, in the making of which participated not only high-profile stars but also 19,000 extras, does not enjoy the popularity of other critically-praised juggernauts, such as Doctor Zhivago (1965), The Mission (1986), Empire of the Sun (1987). This is my brief, retrospective look at The Last Emperor.

Rarely do I stumble upon a motion picture which makes a lasting impression on me. I have been aware of The Last Emperor ever since teenage years. It was frequently mentioned on TV by various film critics, but (much to my disappointment) it was never aired. My only source of knowledge about this epic production was a small clipping in “The Chronicle of Film” book. The large poster of a young Puyi in the Forbidden City looked amazing, but still, I had no means to see the film.

During my college years, when I was shyly getting into Asian cinema, I finally obtained a copy of theatrical cut (160 min) and eagerly watched this award-winning masterpiece. Indeed, the best way to describe this film is to call it a masterpiece. My appreciation for the film extended even further after having recently watched the TV cut (218 min).

The film tells the story of Aisin-Gioro Puyi (based on his 1964 autobiography) who, as a 4-year-old child, is nominated by the dying Empress Dowager Cixi to become the heir of the imperial throne. However, political reforms in China already started taking place at the beginning of the 20th century. With the passage of time, we see Puyi growing up, holding the title of the Emperor, but not being able to execute power. He becomes the prisoner of his own little kingdom until the outbreak of the Second Sino-Japanese War, in which he sees a chance for himself to become a true leader…

The early 1980s were post-Mao times during which China tried to become more open to the world, not only in terms of foreign affairs but culturally as well. Allegedly, Bernardo Bertolucci approached the Chinese government with two ideas for potential movies, yet they decided to greenlit only one, The Last Emperor, and even allowed to use the Forbidden City as a shooting location. The director himself recalled that cooperation with government officials was extremely smooth and they provided only minor suggestions during the production. Considering the highly anti-Communist undertones noticeable in the film’s finale, it seems highly unlikely that the movie would have been made today without the censorship attempts from the side of the PRC officials.

The Last Emperor’s undeniable valors are outstanding visuals, production design, and cinematography. Watching the film feels like admiring a beautiful painting which presents otherworldly times which will never return. Evidently, the director made some simplifications in the script in order to enhance the aesthetic-level of the film (most certainly, Eastern Jewel was not into licking toenails), but these only add more style and charm to the story. Please bear in mind that it is not a Chinese production (not even a Hollywood one). The film is an interpretation of Chinese history and its people by an Italian director. As a result, its grandeur resembles that of Giacomo Puccini’s famous operas like Madama Butterfly or Tosca.

The only piece of harsh criticism directed at the film which I found is that concerning the spoken language. Evidently, the filmmakers decided to use English as the main language in order to appeal to a wider audience. This creative choice certainly paid off, but many viewers are convinced that the film would have been better if the characters spoke Mandarin. Personally, I do not mind the English voice track (actually, the lines are delivered much better than in the disappointing Mulan flick from 2020). In the short making of featurette available on YouTube, you can see that Bertolucci paid a lot of attention to record scenes properly, doing even as much as 7 takes. Poor actress playing the First High Consort flipped her “Impossible! The Emperor does not wear spectacles!” line once, but apart from this one mistake, she enunciated it perfectly. If the English audio track is something that puts you off, then you can always switch to a Mandarin dub (depending on a DVD/Blu-Ray release which you have).

The music score composed by Ryichi Sakamoto (who plays a small part in the film), David Byrne, and Cong Su is completely out of this world. It really transports you to China at the turn of the centuries when tradition was clashing with modernity. Interestingly, Sakamoto provided 9 music tracks, Byrne composed 5, whereas Su contributed only 1 (but he supervised the music on the set as well). What an unusual trio of collaborators it was: Sakamoto was at the beginning of his career as a composer, Byrne was mostly known due to Talking Heads, whereas Cong Su was an expert on traditional Chinese music. It makes me happy that this magnificent soundtrack gained recognition in 1987 and was awarded an Oscar. Click here to see a clip from the ceremony.

It is quite a shame that after the film’s release, John Lone’s recognition (the actor who played adult Emperor Puyi) did not expand. This amazing actor appeared in several recognisable movies, such as M. Butterfly (1993), The Shadow (1994), and Rush Hour 2 (2001), but he has not taken new acting opportunities since 2007. At least, the beautiful Joan Chen (who portrayed the Emperor’s wife) had a steady career in Hollywood as well as on Television.

One should not forget about the extraordinary supporting part of Peter O’Toole as Puyi’s British mentor, and the role of a prison warden played by Ying Ruocheng. Coincidentally, the Chinese actor happened to be the Vice-Minister of Culture at time of making the film, which makes the scene of him bullied and humiliated by the Red Guards all the more mind blowing.

All things considered, I notice that The Last Emperor is rediscovered today by a new generation of enthusiasts of Oriental culture. Some of my students mention this film more frequently in our frivolous talks about cinema. Thankfully, Bernardo Bertlucci’s lavish historical epic lives on 33 years after its release and still amazes with its poetic modus operandi. «Enjoyed this post? Never miss out on future posts by following us»

BU SU (1987) [Film Review]

BU・SU; or, The Days of Our Lives
     Do your best at school!
Rarely do I stumble across a movie which can be easily labelled as a "weird drama". At the beginning, you suspect that the film will be a standard school romance similar to Shunji Iwai's April Story (1988). Later on, you are convinced that the plot will take a darker turn and veer into the territory of Hideo Gosha's geisha thrillers. BU・SU is none of these things. Jun Ichikawa's debut feature from 1987 is, indeed, an unconventional story about a young girl trying to get over personal trauma.

Release Info

Directed by: Jun Ichikawa Starring: Yasuko Tomita, Michiyo Okusu, Masahiro Takashima, Yuriko Hirooka

Language: Japanese Original Title: ブス Runtime: 95 min

Synopsis
Mugiko (Yasuko Tomita) leaves her home island of Izu and arrives in Tokyo to live together with her aunt (Michiyo Okusu) who runs a geisha house. Mugiko experienced some kind of tragedy back in Izu (which is confirmed by her school file), so that's why she decided to move away from her mother (who, apparently, was a respected geisha performer back in the day). The girl attends a new school, but she is withdrawn from the hustle and bustle of class-life. She is not even doing great during geisha training supervised by her aunt. Most of the time, Mugiko roams aimlessly through the streets of Tokyo with a vivid expression of bitterness on her face. It is only when classmates force her to participate in a school festival that Mugiko gets a hold of herself and decides to perform the traditional Yaoya Oshichi dance...

The Ugly Duckling
The film's enigmatic title can be roughly translated into English as "an unattractive woman" or simply "ugly". Interestingly, the main heroine (played by then up-and-coming actress Yasuko Tomita) is not by any means ugly. Having been petrified by past experiences (which are shown merely as quick and disjointed flashbacks), she is unable to seize the day and enjoy normal life. Mugiko is sad and withdrawn all the time. As a result, being BU・SU refers to the state of her mental seclusion from other people.

Jun Ichikawa plays out the story of Mugiko in an intriguing manner. The heroine does not experience some Murakami-like quirky adventure or process her trauma. Instead, little by little, she learns that the world is not entirely rotten and chaotic. At school, she becomes friends with a bullied student (Yuriko Hirooka) and an aspiring boxer, Tsuda (Masahiro Takashima). In addition, through her dance training, Mugiko also gains the acceptance of her aunt. Consequently, Ichikawa attempts to communicate a message that no matter how bad things are, there is more to life than just staying bitter.

On the whole, the film unexpectedly becomes a poignant and peaceful slice-of-life flick. The sequences that really stole my heart were the ones of Mugiko roaming through Tokyo of the Bubble Era. We get to see Ginza as well as the famous Shibuya Crossing, accompanied by catchy City Pop songs.

With regard to performances, I have known Yasuko Tomita mostly from her supporting roles in dramas, but she absolutely shines in BU・SU. In a lot of ways, she reminds of Kimiko Ikegami and her dramatic performances. I definitely need to check out more of Tomita's early movies. Honourable mention goes to Michiyo Okusu as the aunt. With her reservation and tranquillity, the actress really makes this character stand out.

Recommendations
If you are in the mood for non-violent/peaceful drama, then BU・SU is the film for you. I was pleasantly surprised by the film's warmth and subtlety when the end credits rolled in. Definitely give it a try during a quiet, wintery night. Overall score: 8/10

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